Angel
by Moony05
Summary: PG13 because of those skittish non yaoi people. Yes, this has yaoi. Songfic; Remus bit a little girl during the last full moon, and now his guilt is causing him to leave the wizarding world forever, but Sirius Black finds out and tries to stop him.


Disclaimer: Bonjour! I am in a French mood today! Yeah... I don't own anything but ze plot ladies et genteelmen of ze crowd. J.K Rowling owns ze characters and ze setting, the song "Angels Would Fall" is owned (I presume) By Melissa Ethelridge as she is the singer or chantuese. Lastly, As always, R&R s'il vous plait.  
  
Authors Note: This Fanfic disregards the end of OOTP, because I didn't like it, so there!  
  
"The rope that's wrapped around me  
  
Is cutting through my skin  
  
And the doubts that have surrounded me   
  
Are finding their way in   
  
I keep it close to me   
  
Like a holy man prays   
  
In my desperate hour  
  
It's better that way"  
  
"Lupin, Remus Lupin?" The muggle woman behind the ticket booth looked up at the tired man impatiently, "Hello? Remus Lupin?"  
"Oh yes, right." Remus J. Lupin, graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry accepted the ticket that was thrust unceremoniously across the desk. Some other miscellaneous muggles shoved up rudely to the desk as he stepped aside. This was it, he was leaving the wizarding world forever, and living with muggles. He had decided that he was too much of a danger to his loved ones, there was no going back.  
"Sir? I believe your train is preparing to depart in 15 minutes." Lupin glanced up and nodded at the muggle guard who had spoken. He took his time in getting to the train, it didn't matter now.  
What had brought him to this? He had bitten a little girl last full moon, he could only thank god that he had not torn her to shreds, although her life as a werewolf might not be much better than death. Dumbledor had of course, offered to talk to the ministry about him, about how safe he was. But Lupin knew better now, he would never be safe to be around until he was dead. What pained him most was the things he was leaving behind. Sirius Black most of all, his one time lover, and lifelong friend.  
  
"So I'll come by and see you again   
  
I'll be such a very good friend   
  
Have mercy on my soul  
  
I will never let you know   
  
Where my mind has been"  
  
"Moony!" Turning around abruptly, Lupin gave a sharp intake of breath. Sirius stood there behind him. "Moony, I heard what you're going to do, and I'm here to tell you that you don't have to, you can stay with me, as long as you need to." Sirius came closer and took Lupin's hand, but Lupin looked up and smiled weakly. "That's very kind of you Padfoot old friend, but I've realized that I only endanger my friends, why it took so long for me to find this out I don't know, I was so foolish." Lupin's voice held a bitter tone and a ring of self righteousness. Lupin was still as much in love with Sirius as he had been the day they became reunited during his year teaching at Hogwarts, and afterward. But it was too late, they couldn't fix things anymore. "No, now you're being stupid. I can set everything up for you, there's no need for you to go live among muggles because of the way you are." Sirius looked at his childhood friend levelly, "I still love you Moony."  
  
"Angels never came down  
  
There's no one here they want to hang around  
  
But if they knew   
  
If they knew you at all  
  
Then one by one the angels   
  
Angels would fall"   
  
"We were over a long time ago." Lupin replied quietly, it tore at his heart to know that Sirius still had feelings for him. "I don't care, I know you didn't mean anything, you're too kind hearted for that sort of talk." The muggles around them were starting to stare as they caught snatches of the conversation. Tempted as Lupin was by the sweet words he had longed to hear, he gently pushed Sirius away, and made his way over to the platform. Stubbornly, Sirius followed him.  
"I can't let you go Moony, at least not until I understand certain things." Sirius cut around the sandy haired werewolf and blocked his path. The sunlight shot through some skylights above, giving Sirius a halo of sunlight. Unconciously, Lupin swept a hand at his eyes, feeling wetness there.  
"What's there to understand? I wasn't in love with you anymore, so I moved out."  
"Was it because of what happened during the full moon? Were you just running away again? Like you are now?" Lupin froze, and Sirius understood he had touched upon the subject.  
  
"I've crept into your temple   
  
I have slept upon your pew  
  
I've dreamed of the divinity   
  
Inside and out of you  
  
I want it more than truth   
  
I can taste it on my breath  
  
I would give my life just for a little death"  
  
It had been during those years when the Order of the Phoenix was just beginning to form. Sirius had offered to let Lupin stay in Grimmauld Place with him, because being unemployed, he was unable to find means as to pay for a house of his own. There, after the Order had gone to their respected residential areas, the two had formed a budding romance. One thing led to another, and they began sleeping together. Lupin couldn't remember a time when he had been happier, unless it was the days when the Marauders had been rampant at Hogwarts. Of course, happiness never lasted long in his life. The full moon came, and Lupin forgot to take his potion. After the pain of the transformation, he could remember very little, it was all a blur. When he awakened as a man once again, he found himself sleeping beside an unconscious black dog... Sirius, who was covered in his own blood.  
  
"So I'll come by and see you again  
  
I'll be just a very good friend  
  
I will not look upon your face   
  
I will not touch upon your grace   
  
Your ecclesiastic skin"   
  
Of course he could not bear to stay with Sirius after the incident. Once he was assured that the dark haired man was well cared for, Lupin had broken off the relationship and moved out. He could tell Sirius was hurt by his sudden lack of emotions, but he knew it was for the best, he would never love again, so he could never hurt again.  
Now he had committed another similar crime, only this time it was much worse. An innocent little girl would now have to go through the same thing he had, this was a fate he would not have wished upon anyone.  
It was funny the way fate turned a man's life around. Lupin had once thought he would be able to stay with someone he loved forever, just as he thought long ago that a friendship between four friends could never be broken. But there were always technicalities, and Lady Luck seemed to have a fondness for toying with him.  
  
"I'll come by and see you again  
  
I'll have to be a very good friend  
  
If I whisper they will know   
  
I'll just turn around and go   
  
You will never know my sin"   
  
Looking up at Sirius determinedly, Lupin spoke, ever so softly, "Yes, I am running away, and I don't want you to follow me either." The whistle blew and he boarded, making his way to a compartment. Back on the platform, Sirius could only watch, distanced to the world as the man he loved left once again.  
  
Authors Note: So, what do you think? Loved it? Hated it? Want a sequel perhaps? You know what to do. 


End file.
